Day 4 and still on track

I wasn't going to blog today because I felt like I didn't have much to say, but I had a couple of people inquire about it, so I figured I'd write something quick. I have to say that I am very touched and motivated to hear that I am motivating and inspiring so many others! I'm happy and humbled to hear it.


Day 3 (Wednesday): I swam for 2 hours non stop yesterday afternoon - not laps necessarily, but up and down the pool and continuous movement for 2 hours. Turns out that leisurely swimming burns over 1500 calories and make a person sleep like the dead! I had to drag myself out of bed this morning! After I added up all the calories I ate and all the calories I burned yesterday, my Net Calories were only 392. I went back and forth about whether or not this was good or bad - I consumed more than enough calories, but since I burned 1500+, I wasn't sure if I should leave well enough lone or if I should consider that to be an unhealthy number. I was trying to reflect on all the Biggest Loser episodes I watched and tried to figure out what they did, but I had no idea. So I had a small ice cream. Then my Net calories were 992. I need to research some more to find out if I should leave well enough well alone after I burned that many calories, or if I should get my Net Calories up like I did....Any responses to this question are welcomed. This whole "calories in, calories out" thing is very confusing to me....it's the math involved I suppose...So please, if you can help with this I'd love it!

Day 4: I went out to breakfast with a friend of mine this morning - I was happy when I ordered an omelet that it came with some potatoes, but no bread. And then the waitress appeared with a basket for artisan bread! GD it! They were small pieces (I mean small) and so I treated myself to 2 little pieces. I should have ordered my omelet with egg whites, but the cheapskate in me didn't want to pay the extra dollar. In hindsight, I should have paid the extra dollar. The breakfast sustained me most of the day and I swam for another 2 hours this afternoon (and had 2 homemade cookies in there somewhere - but they had oatmeal in them so they weren't all bad). I made a health dinner for us and I'm trying to get all my water in.

I was proud of myself for 2 things today. The first was that despite how tempted I was, I did not get on the scale. I ought to throw that damn thing out the window! The second was that I Water Jogged in the pool for 20 minutes. Sixteen minutes into it, my 13 year old nephew asked me what I was doing. I told him I was water jogging and that it was great exercise and he should join me. So he did. After he did this for 4 minutes he told me, in his surprised tone, that it really was a good workout. And he continued without me as I swam some laps. I was glad I inspired him to keep going.

Tomorrow I leave to go out of town for the weekend....I'm trying to stay positive and tell myself that I'm not going to blow my last 4 days in the next 4 days...which is exactly what I usually do. As my mother likes to say to me, "You have a little too much weekend." Aint that the truth! Stay tuned next week...I'll report back about my weekend and I promise to be honest. I'll report the good, the bad, and the ugly from the weekend!

My "Plan"

If you are reading this, then thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I have tried to answer every message that I've received on Facebook and I've tried to privately thank everyone who has left me an encouraging post, but in case I have missed you, then thank you and please know that I have read every comment and message that I've gotten.  Thanks to all my peeps on FB, I feel very encouraged, loved, and knowing that I have people following me is helps me stay accountable!

There are a few questions that I've gotten from a lot of people and the main one that sticks out and is hardest for me to answer is: "What is your plan?" Great question, to which I have no solid answer. I've started this journey much like I started a road trip with a friend right after high school graduation; with nothing more than a tank full of gas and a plan to hit the road with a map if we needed it. We eventually got to our destination, with many stops along the way. I think my journey to wellness may be very similar to that road trip. I don't have a solid plan just yet, but I have a road map...and of course I know where I'm headed.

I have received many ideas and suggestions and I really appreciate all the feedback. I've also tried many of these suggested weight loss methods in the past. It's not as though I don't know HOW to lose weight and get healthy; I do. The problem lies with which route I should take to get there. Do I want to: cut carbs? follow Weight Watchers? do the 17 Day Diet? get meds from the doctor? get gastric bypass surgery? do the green smoothy diet? slim fast? south beach?....the list goes on....but my answer to all of those is simply no. I want to make a lifestyle change that includes healthy eating and moderation and daily (or almost daily) exercise.

My "plan," for now, looks something like this:
*Exercise at least 4 days a week
*Use Lose It app on my phone to track calories and weight loss
*Stay within my recommended caloric intake as prescribed by Lose It.
*Stay off the f'ing scale except for once a week (like an ant to an apple, I am drawn to it)
*Weigh myself on MONDAYS so that I am held accountable for my actions over the weekend
*Drink at least 64 ounces of water a day
*Cut back on the booze

My plan is simple for now and may need to be adjusted along the way, but it's as far ahead as I can think for a "plan." I know what I don't want to do...I don't want to have surgery or have to take meds (although I considered both these options briefly and I've taken meds before that clearly haven't worked). I don't want to pay money outside of my gym membership for someone to tell me what to do, because I KNOW what to do - it's just the motivation and the self control that I lack. I don't want to go on a "diet" because diets don't work in the long run. I am simply making a lifestyle change.

About the Lose It app...it's free, which I like. It tells me how many calories I can have each day based on my weight and some other info...Anyway,  it will graph my weight loss once I actually start losing weight and it syncs with my iPad and my phone so I can stay on track when I'm out of the house (is it "the cloud" that syncs these things???). It's simple and I like it, so that's my "plan" for the time being.  A friend of mine and her husband both had success with using this app, and although I've had it on my phone for some time, I just haven't been "honest" about using it.

When I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and was probably the healthiest I've ever been, I did it by daily (almost daily) exercise and I counted my calories. It was that simple. If I wanted pizza for dinner and I didn't have enough calories for pizza, then I chose something else and told myself that I could have pizza tomorrow as long as I saved the calories. I tried to plan ahead for nights out and I didn't freak out when I went out on Friday nights...that was usually my "free" night. But I still wrote everything down. Every last Miller Lite that I chugged down, I wrote down (unless of course I lost count, because that was always a possibility).  For whatever reason, calorie counting works well for me. I think it's because I don't feel as though I'm on any kind of diet - I can have what I want as long as I have the calories for it.

Day 2 Summary (from tuesday):
Exercise: Swimming laps at a leisurely rate for 1 hour
Calories Burned: 762
*Calories Consumed: 2, 379 (I will not consume that many today)
Net Calories: 1,617

*I had very little to eat yesterday during the day and was exhausted and starving after my hour long swim, so dinner was not what I had planned. However, I was under by 485, due to how calories are calculated after exercise/consumption. That said, despite how many calories I'm "allowed" to have based on my weight/height formula, I feel that a max of 1800 a day is a good number, not the recommended 2100 (before exercise).  The formula on Lose It is based on me wanting to lose 2 lbs a week (you can set it for .5, 1, 1.5, or 2...I chose 2) and then incorporates calories consumed and calories burned, the "Net Calories."

I hope that answered some people's questions as far as what my plan is and how the Lose It app works. If not, feel free to ask me another question and I'll be happy to answer.

Goals for Today (day 3): Stay below recommended caloric intake, swim laps for at least 1 hour, and be proud of myself for making healthy food choices and working out. Oh - and stay off the scale. Even though it's only been 2 days I'd like to check it, but I won't. As in the pic above, it just ruins my enthusiasm and my momentum.

Starting the Road To Wellness

Yesterday was my first official day on my road to wellness. I have been obese (what a horrifying word for such a horrifying condition) all my life. As a child, my pediatrician would make comments to my mother about how I needed to lose weight. My parents would encourage me to eat my veggies and avoid having a second helping of the good stuff. From the time I was a child...as young as I can remember, I've known that I was fat. It's something that I have woken up with every day of my life and have carried with me like some sort of deformity. Don't get me wrong - I've certainly felt pretty, and sexy, and even healthy, but even on those days I was never pretty enough, or sexy enough, or healthy enough. I've always known there was still room for improvement.

Although I am tempted to type out the numbers that make up my weight, I am not ready to do so. The picture that I'm putting with this post should sum it up. I'm not just robust, or a little bit plump; I am fat. I've been on a spiral down hill with my weight since 2010 after being the healthiest I've probably ever been. I went from working out 4-5 days a week, having a personal trainer, and logging all my calories, to "suddenly" gaining almost 70 lbs...and even back then I still needed to lose 60 lbs! Just so we're clear, I'm not a skinny girl who wants to lose 10 lbs, although I sympathize with those girls too - losing weight is tough on everyone.

Needing to start on to my Road to Wellness as I'm calling it, has been on my mind for some time (forever really), but really over the last few weeks. I've been vacationing, drinking a lot of wine and fancy beer, and enjoying the good life. I'm probably the happiest I've ever been, except for this whole weight thing. While enjoying my summer, I've been packing on more pounds, and now suddenly I feel the worst I've ever felt in my life. I don't move around as easily as I had, I get tired doing little things, etc. About a month ago I started getting a pain in my left arm. I started worrying that I was about to have a heart attack and I even mentioned to my husband that perhaps I should see a doctor. But my God, I'm too young to have a heart attack (says the obese woman who weighs as much as 2 healthy women).  So I've been avoiding it, ignoring it, explaining the pain away. Then over this past weekend we got a phone call that my cousin April passed away while in rehab after a hospital stay. She had a massive heart attack. She was only in her 60's. All I could think about was the pain in my arm. My father looked at my feet and ankles that same day and I was very swollen form the week of vacationing and drinking that I'd just had. He commented - and he rarely comments on my weight - and he was scared for me. It runs in the family he reminded me. My ankles looked like April's, or my grandmothers, or so many relatives before me who were unhealthy.

As I mentioned, I've been fat my whole life. It is in my genes, I get it from my father's side of the family. While back to the gym yesterday, as I huffed and puffed and sweated like a farm animal (while walking at a whopping 2.5), I started thinking about all the family members that have died due to preventable deaths. It's pretty much all of them. Some smoked, so that explains that, but most of the others died from heart disease or diabetes or poor life style decisions. My grandmother had some girth to her and always used to tell me when I was little that I wasn't fat; I was just "big boned" like her. I loved my grandmother. She gave me cookies and candy and made me bacon on Saturdays after I'd already eaten breakfast at my parent's house. I grew up not wanting to look like some of my family members who I knew were unhealthy and I swore I would never look like them. Now, at 37 years old, not only do I look like those same people, but I've even surpassed them in weight. I am appalled with myself and I'm taking action. I had planned to start this Monday - after all, who doesn't like to start on a Monday!? - but after my cousin died and I saw the worry on my father's face, I knew I really NEEDED to start on Monday. My husband asked if I should go to the hospital for my arm pain and I contemplated it...he told me he wasn't ready for me to leave him. My father's sad eyes when he spoke to me made me think about how my parents have already lost one daughter at the ripe young age of 34 from a completely avoidable lifestyle. I was not prepared to die and leave my parents without another daughter or leave my husband without a wife.

I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for something unrelated yesterday and I had my arm checked out while I was there. The doctor was pretty sure it's Bursitis (thank God). I did go to the gym yesterday and I worked out for 30 minutes (walking). At one point I even had the urge to run, but actually envisioned my heart exploding inside my body and decided to just take it easy on my first day back. I publicly announced on Facebook that I was starting this new Road to Wellness and I had an outpouring of encouragement that was so overwhelming - I was truly inspired and encouraged by every text, private message, "like" and comment to my post! I received encouragement, well wishes, kind words...and a few people who really wanted me to keep them posted and in the loop with this journey. Because of all the amazing people that reached out to me yesterday, I decided to start a blog and keep people in the loop. Many told me that I was inspirational to them and I'm honored that they think that. I want to continue to be an inspiration to people - whether you need to lose 100 lbs or 0 lbs, I'm glad I can still be inspiring and I hope can bring some humor to the table while focusing on  such serious matters as health and wellness and trying not to die young.

Day 1:
30 minutes of exercise (a whopping 152 calories burned I think)
1,642 calories consumed
A pretty good start, if I do say so myself.

**Please pardon all spelling and grammatical errors...this isn't a writing competition, it's a Road To Wellness Blog!